Frankie’s War

Just a little FYI for you to consider. I came into your place today to swim and couldn’t because the water was too hot! The thermometer said 93 degrees! Also, the sun was coming through the window and burning my skin. Can’t you put up a shade or something? What are you guys trying to do, burn us alive? I am a Korean War Veteran! Even though that war was HELL, it was never as hot as this place!!!

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Frankie and Hattie

I was in the pool a while back with my friend Hattie. I saw this person walking by. I said “hey Hattie, who’s that?” She said “that’s John”. Then I said “John who?” Then she said “John Smith!” I said “What!?” That can’t be him; he’s not wearing a cap! She said “No, I think that’s him!” I said “Nah!” We debated this issue for over an hour. Finally he walked right up to us and said “is there a problem here?” This imposter frightened me and I had to swim away. Poor Hattie.

Frankie and a cup of Sanka

 

sanka

Well, well, well. I was reading a comment a few weeks ago about grown women wearing skimpy outfits showing their cleavage and mid-drifts. And it’s not appropriate for you kids to see this. Well I can tell you that a few of my women’s wear what they can get…and usually these are hand-me-downs or something they purchased at the Salvation Army Store. I came Tuesday morning and was greeted by a bunch of seniors in the lobby had only in their bathing suits. Anyways, to see all this half exposed wrinkled flesh at that time of the morning hurt my eyes. Actually later that morning I lost my breakfast! Every morning I have a bowl of grape-nuts with ½ a banana (sliced up) and a cup of Sanka. I found that Ralph’s has the best price on Sanka. I always trade there. But…I digress. It’s bad enough that they are down on their luck, but to have a busy body point it out…Lordy, what’s this world coming to?

Six day countdown

SIX friends set out to run a marathon.

FIVE months of rigorous training.

FOUR AM wake up call to start off the day.

THREE pairs of running shoes.

TWO hundred plus miles of training.

ONE day where we push our bodies to new limits and where our perseverance and dedication are made manifest.    

8 Tickets

Some of my favorite things about Halloween are:

The orange-yellowish glow of a lit pumpkin illuminating a carved face.

Candy Corn and Plastic Pumpkins.

Children dressed as some type of fruit or animal.

Trick-or-treaters that are way too old to be trick-or-treating.

Small voices saying “trick-or-treat”.

Having an excuse to listen to creepy music.

The day after (Dia De Los Muertos).

Bags of candy.

Houses that pass out large size snickers bars.

The sound of leaves being stepped on in the dark.

Eating all the “good” candy first.

Knowing that it’s Fall.

Matt’s annual pumpkin carving contest.

A Nightmare Before Christmas.

Celebrating the holiday with my girlfriend.

 

 

snowshoes and cowboy boots

If streets were made of marshmallow then they would be safe to drive on; cars would be made out of cinnamon graham crackers and have Ritz wheels. Fire hydrants would be filled with butterscotch and soft caramel. If streets were made from marshmallow then I would make shoes out of licorice rope and dandelions.

Frankie The Korean War Veteran

 

I was reading a comment the other day where the author (a woman) was whining about the soap dispensers being empty in the ladies locker room for a “long time”. Well, Well, talk about a “long time”…I complained about 2 years ago about there not being shower curtains in the men’s locker room. Was anything done? NO! Actually, I could care less if the men’s had shower curtains. We don’t need them! We’re secure in our birthday suits which the Good Lord gave us. It’s just that when Frankie heard that the woman’s had shower curtains…and they hand “mold” on them, well that was it. That was the last straw! How long do we have to cater to these cry babies? Why are us men’s always discriminated against? WE MATTER! See what complaining about anything around here does, ladies? Join the club and toughen up a little, will you? My God…bring your own bar of soap from home. “When life gives you lemons…make lemonade!”