Archive for June, 2008

Quota this you SOB!

The inventor of the quota was probably some rickety old man with pencil like fingers that he used to count gold coins in his basement. He probably wore bottle cap glasses that put the electron microscope to shame. His belly was probably constantly bloated from eating Cornish game hen and his breath reeked of 80-year-old scotch. His suspenders were probably stretched thin because he was too cheep to buy new ones and he probably even took the penny out of his loafer. I could only imagine that his own children were too afraid to call him dad, so they just called him Mr. Quota. “Mr. Quota, can I have a glass of milk?” And I’m sure he responded in his abnormally squeaky high voice “you can have your glass of milk when you make 1,300 snickerdoodles by March 19th!” With their heads held low the Quota children must then begin to increase their productivity level by 14% to meet their father’s demands. Inevitably the Quota children fall short; their productivity level maxed out at 12% despite eating extra brussels sprouts and green beans. With parched mouths the Quota children learn that their father’s demands were completely unrealistic and there wasn’t enough snicker in the doodle to make 1,300 cookies in the first place.

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