At A Glance

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After ordering a small red burrito at Del Taco Jake said to me “so Charles, what do you want to do with your life?” I wasn’t prepared for such a question to usher in the New Year especially at 1:30 AM and with a truck full of friends. I can’t remember my response but I’m almost certain that I fumbled through my words. It was a hard question from a friend that I deeply admire but I know his intentions were good and that he was genuinely curious. There are times that I simply don’t know the answer to such a question. As I sat in the passenger seat of my truck (let’s be honest it was a knob creek night) I thought about this question and I pondered it further when he asked Matt the same thing. My mind was going crazy trying to figure it out and the fact that I had four of my closest friends in the truck with me did not add to any clarity. I tried to focus in on the question but I was too distracted by Paul laughing at Derek while he repeatedly poked Jake in the ribcage. Despite these distractions I managed to find more, my world greatest lover button pinned on my passenger side sun visor lightened my spirits and gave much needed humor to my perplexed state. I can’t remember the following conversation to Jake’s question but I can remember it rapidly digressed to comments like “what in the hell is taking so long?” and “who gave you the worlds greatest lover button?” After the inevitability of natures call Jake got out of the truck to go into Del Taco. (Thanks to Matt’s extremely persuasive and persistent argument that we could still go into Del Taco at that hour.) Filled with the New Years spirit Jake wished a “Happy New Year” to the car in front of us and on the way back he politely helped the Del Taco employee hand over a large drink to an apparently extremely thirsty customer. After receiving our long anticipated quasi-mexican food we drove back to Derek’s house and continued celebrating the New Year.

I’ve given some thought to Jake’s question and I’ve come up with some conclusions. I simply don’t know what is going to happen, I can’t say when I’m 30 I’m going to do this or be that. All I know it that I deeply want to understand what it is to love the way Christ has called you and me to love. I want to walk with Him every day and take upon His yoke. I don’t know if I’m going to stand on the top of Mount Sulimon and hear the minarets bellow out the call to prayer or if I’m going to live a simplistic life in the suburbs of Los Angeles. I don’t know if my children will walk with the Lord or if I’ll even have children at all. I do know that I’ll still attend seminary because I deeply believe that God has called me into ministry at some point (although I don’t know what that is going to look like). I know that probably for the first time in my life I’m happy with who I am and that I cannot be anyone else but myself no matter how good or bad it may seem at times. I know that God deeply loves me and has proven Himself to be faithful over and over again despite my constant lack of. I guess for me the question isn’t what do I want to do with my life but it’s who do I want to be. I want to be deeply in love with Christ because He is deeply in love with me. I want to understand the beauty of His mystery and be the man he has called me to be. It has been an interesting 2007 and I have learned some hard truths and dealt with some harsh realities. Much like that old tree in Yosemite I have weathered cold winter storms and my roots have pressed deeper into the fertile ground of Christ’s love. And much like that same tree I will wait for the oncoming spring and celebrate a new beginning and when the winter storms come again I will look back and say “it was a good year.” 

           

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1 Comment»

  Jen Thompson wrote @

really, this is great!
so….
what do you want to do with your life?


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