Magnolia

I feel like a fool! A man of ignorance trying to understand what is seemingly incomprehensible. I’m riddled with insecurity, or is it just fear? I’m starting to believe that I’ve asked God for the impossible, or have I’ve asked God for something I cannot endure? The prayer “teach me how to love” should have never been uttered from my lips. I should have kept silent and simply lived in my own futility. My soul has been broken and torn into little pieces that have been scattered by the wind. This journey has been dark at times, but God has provided the light. My soul has been crushed, but the potter’s hands have begun to build it up again. It was a prayer of naivety and completely filled with desperation. I feel like a fool for asking such things, I feel weak and unable to learn the lesson, but yet God keeps trying to teach me. Sometimes I just want to stop and not love, I want to stay selfish and to harden my heart so that I cannot feel pain. I now realize that I’m such a frail man. As I humbly go before God I can only ask him one thing… “Teach me how to love”.

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